Well, here I am! It is now 2010 and it has really taken me this long to decide what I want to talk about. There have been many things that have happened since I last blogged so, I haven't been in a great place to share my experiences while I was still living with the consequences of thos decisions. Transparency? Here I come.
Sooooo.... Hmmm. Trying to remember where I left off. Yeah, OK, we talked on MySpace for a while and then "graduated" to talking on the phone. I'm sure I mentioned that was a huge mistake. However, hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, he would call, even when his family came back. He would call me on his way TO work, while he was AT work and while he was on his way home FROM work. I had never heard so many declarations of love in my life. He was telling me how happy he was that I was, once again, a part of his life. How much he had missed me, and if, for any any reason, he found himself "free" again he would make certain that I was the one he would end up with. Did I believe him? Yes, and here's why; I had no reason to believe, at that point, he would lie to me. I thought of it as a second chance to be with him. Another woman's pregnancy and an overzealous pastor had taken him from me before, but that would never happen again!
As we grew closer, he began to tell me of his situation in depth. He told me about his group, and how they were blowing things up in Columbus. He told me about his marriage, which was OK, using his term. He said that his wife wasn't very sexual and didn't pay alot of attention to him. He felt ignored and unappreciated. I felt bad for him when he said that she treated him like one of their many children and not like the man he felt he should be treated. He said that she was so busy, with other responsibilities that she had taken on, that there was no room in her life for him. He loved me because I would drop everything just to speak with him. I paid attention, I listened when he talked to me. I didn't blow him off for anything, asking him how his day was. I soothed him when he had a rough day, she made the day worst by screaming on him for something she felt he had done wrong. BUT... He couldn't just LEAVE her, after all she had done so much for him. She helped get on his feet when no one else would. That comment bothered me simply because given a chance, I would have helped him with anything! Anyway, on and on he went with his explaination about why he couldn't leave. "She hasn't done anything to me, plus I'm grateful to her." then came the, "She takes great care of me." I was waiting to hear that he loved her but he never said that. I was confused, but quiet about it. If he didn't know how he felt about her, who was I to try and tell him?
In early July of 2006, Isaiah started talking to me more about his group. While he was focusing on that, I was focusing on accepting a job offer in Cincinatti, OH. I was working at an Assemblies of God church as Minister of Music in Buffalo and my pastor came to me with a wonderful opportunity. He told me of a church in Ohio that needed a Minister of Music. It was a larger congregation and I would be working with several of their choirs PLUS starting a choir for the new contemporary services. Perks included were: a car, an apartment at a discounted rent which was owned by the church and a salary of 27,000 a year. Now the salary may not seem like alot of money, but that was for working PART-TIME! 20 hours a week and nothing more. I went to visit for a weekend and was welcomed beyond anything I could have expected! They were surprised to see a black woman but they quickly got over that once I sang for them! I saw the apartment that my children and I would be living in and the car that would be leased to me. WONDERFUL!!! I couldn't wait to move. I had discussed it with my family and they were on board and now the only person I wanted to share it with was Isaiah. When I told him about the move, he was excited. Cincinatti wasn't very far from Columbus so there would be more opportunities to visit. I told him of the perks and he was very impressed, he had no idea that a church would pay someone a salary "just" to do what I do. So, with that I prepared myself to move to Cincinatti. While I was packing up to move to Cincinatti, he was going to Syracuse for a choir workshop that he does yearly. While he was there, we continued to talk daily even if he had to "sneak" away to do it. He loved talking to me, that's what he said , so we talked alot while he was there. His wife decided that she wanted to stay until after the Memorial Day holiday but he had to get back to work. So he rented a car and left early so he could be back at work Monday morning. Well, that's what he told her.... What he neglected to tell her was that he was going to come see me instead of going straight home. It was a last-minute decision on his part. First the plan was for him to catch the bus home, and while he was on layover, I would come over to Buffalo to sit with him until his bus came. He said he would do better than that, he didn't want his first time seeing me to be in a bus station! He called me back, that afternoon and told me he was renting a car and that he would drive to my house but that he would only be able to spend a few hours with me because he had to get back for work. Do I really need to say that he called in? Anyway, he showed up at 3:00am! I had spent the whole day cleaning and getting everything ready for his visit. I knew he would be tired so I changed the sheets on my bed and made sure there were clean towels so he could shower and go to bed. Now, I know it sounds like I was preparing to sleep with him. BUT quite honestly, while I WANTED to, I knew what would happen if I did. I already had strong feelings for him but I was moving to Cincinatti and he was married so making love would make things worst, right? Right! So we shouldn't do that, right? Right!! So, we were responsible and we didn't do anything, right? Wrong! WAIT!! I'm ahead of myself here! He called to let me know that he had just got off of the thru-way and wanted to know where an open store was because he needed to pick up some things. I gave him directions to Tops and he told me he would see me shortly. I was sitting on my porch waiting to see him and just when I thought I would die of suspense, the Toyota Corolla he was driving turned onto my street. I stood up and waved and he stopped and got out. We finally saw each other after nearly 9 years and it was everything I thought it would be. He looked the same, just alot bigger than I remembered and I was alot smaller than he remembered. LOL When he got out of the car, he just looked at me and held me for the longest time standing on my porch. The next thing I knew, we were kissing. We hadn't even spoken yet, but we sure couldn't stop kissing! I was so happy to see him and I PRAYED that my kids wouldn't wake up because I knew then what I wanted to do. He knew what he wanted before I did. He asked me where a store was, remember? Well, he wanted to get condoms, among other things......
Now I know I said I was going to be transparent, but not THAT transparent! I mean, do you REALLY wanna know everything that happened? O.K.!!! Here's the PG-13 version: We kissed, we talked, we kissed some more, we touched each other intimately. Then we got undressed, touched some more, talked some more, made other noises, made love. Then he touched me with his mouth, I touched him with mine, we kissed a whole lot more. We told each other how good it was. We made love again. Used all the condoms.... Good enough?
We got up with the sun and the kids woke up too. He showered and then I did. He got reacquainted with Kenny and met Kars. Said hello to my mom who came down to see him. Then we kissed and said good-bye. We tried to make it fast because it wasn't easy. I didn't want him to go and he didn't want to go. But he had to...
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