Home....

Jimmy and I had a BALL coming home. I was really quiet at first, because I hadn't really wanted to leave when I did, but it was what was best at the time. Isaiah and I were having a very hard time keeping our feelings to ourselves and if I would have stayed much longer, everyone would have seen what was up!  Jimmy made me turn on some music and play DJ while he drove. We listened to everything! Rap, gospel and all, he had no clue that I could sing as well as I do and spent most of the drive asking me why I wasn't rich and famous yet! LOL It was really nice being with him after the pressure of the weekend. It was hard to be around Isaiah's wife, because I knew I was the one that he was supposed to be with, NOT HER! I felt that a man should be with a woman, not another man playing dress-up! She's nice, I guess, in her own country, no make-up wearing, mannish. nightmarish way but she has NOTHING ON ME! Yeah, I said it! When you compare the two of us, I am the best. I am usually not a phony person, but I really had no other choice. He wanted us to get along, so for his sake, I did my best.

The plan to get Jimmy home went off without a hitch and we drove back home, listening to some of the same music I had listened to with Jimmy. I was SO tired when I got back home, so I went to bed and the next day I immediately began to look for someplace to live in Ohio.... COLUMBUS, not Cincinatti.

Now there may be some of you (or all of you), may think I was wrong. Wrong for sleeping with Isaiah, wrong for loving him and wrong for moving to Columbus to be near him. I agree with you, but when you love someone and think that you see a way for the two of you to FINALLY be together, you snatch it. I wasn't thinking about his wife. I was thinking that NOW, after all these years, I have a chance to be with my first love, the one who was meant for me. He married her because she was pregnant, when we talked about marriage, it wasn't about an unplanned pregnancy, it was about being so in love with someone else that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them. Pregnancies would happen, several times, during our relationship but I never held them over his head, never made him choose between his freedom and the life of his child. What kind of desperate woman does that?

Naomi, one of the women in the group, a great soprano and a better friend (at first), sent me classified ads of apartments and when I found some I liked, actually went out and looked at them for me. I had alot of unfinished business in Niagara Falls, I wanted every loose end tied so that I'd be able to leave free and clear. I didn't even want to leave any outstanding bills here. I said good-bye to my choir, my church families and my JOB. Why did I give up so much? Isaiah, with his words and deeds, led me to believe that I was moving to my future, my future with him. He lied about everything.....