Well, Christmas time is here again! The time of year that makes me happy and sad at the same time. Christmas is when I get to watch the looks of joy on my family and friend's faces when they open up a gift from me, but it is also when my best friend, Kimberley Ann Greshem Brewer died, while I was talking to her on the phone. The day AFTER Christmas, as a matter of fact. We were chit-chatting about her visiting because my mom was in town and she really wanted to see us. We wanted to see her and Keyondra as well, but it was not to be. We were laughing about some silliness that happened on Christmas Day, I don't remember now but it was FUNNY! We decided to meet after she gave her mom her breakfast, which she was preparing right then. Then it was she and my mom making their usual crazy commments to each other, so I decided to give mom the phone. Mom and Kimmie talked for a few minutes, with Kim PROMISING that she was almost done. "All I have to do is get Keyondra dressed and we'll be there!" They finished their talk with, "I love you", as they always did and then it was ME back on the phone. "Are you still going to Syracuse this weekend?", she asked me. I told her, "Yeah, and I still need Keyondra's carseat for Karson." She said, "Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me, so I can Keyondra's other careseat from Lee's (her husband) truck." I replied, "OK, so you'll be here in a few?" She didn't answer me, so I started calling her name. "Kim, are you there?" I heard her mom calling her name too, but it didn't occur to me that something might be wrong. (Maybe I was blocking it out?) She still didn't answer and I wasn't really worried since we both had Cricket phones and they ALWAYS drop calls.
I tried to call her back several times that day and no one answered. She didn't come over, so I went to her house and since her car was unlocked, I got the carseat. We'd done this several times, if she didn't have time to bring the carseat by, she would leave her car unlocked for me to get it. I went to the door and knocked but no one answered so I got into mom's car and called her on my cell. She still didn't answer so I left her message, telling her that I had the carseat and that we would call when we got back, that maybe mom could see her then. "Talk you later, Kimmie. Love you, girl, bye.....
It wasn't until I was on my way to Syracuse that I found out what happened. While she was talking to me on the phone, she had a Pulmonary Embolism. In short, a blood clot traveled from one of her legs and became lodged in a main vessel in one of her lungs. Death, I am told, was instant. I hope that's true because if anyone deserved a pain-free, quick death, it was her. With two parents who gave her away, church people who she thought were friends and weren't, an abusive husband who cheated on her constantly and never being able to live for herself because she was so busy trying to take care of an ailing mother, she didn't need to suffer any longer. So, my best friend died on December 26, 2003, which was also her daughter's 3rd birthday, she wasn't even 25 yet.
This is one reason I keep this blog. Kim was more than my best friend, she was someone who would gave told me to fight Isaiah! She would have insisted that I stand up for myself when he and his wife were trashing me about what they felt I SHOULD have been doing. Kim NEVER would have let me do this to myself. I miss her and I wish she were here.....
I love you, Kimberley Ann Gresham Brewer..... Rest In Peace, girl....
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Well....
I find myself a little shaken today. After not hearing a peep from Isaiah for well over two years, I check my e-mail today and there was a letter from him. I thought that if I ever heard from him again, that I would lose it, no matter what he was writing me for. But I couldn't. I have come too far in this to actually make a fool of myself over a man that I don't even love anymore, a man who I know never loved me in the first place. Anyway, here is a copy of the letter he wrote:
First of all let me give you a disclaimer before you even start to read this. I am sending this with all sincerity, no hidden agendas, nobody is coaching me, I'm not being forced, and this is not a last resort effort. I am sending this because I know I need to.
In spite of everything that has been said and done on both of our parts, the true and the untrue, I still care about you and all the kids. I know this can be a strain and I certainly don't want to be anymore of a hindrance that takes your focus off of raising them. I know you will go to hell and back for them. A lot of things have been said and done, and I do know that everything that was said true or not was not necessarily your exact words and some of the details were twisted as being told by others. So just know that goes the same for me. A lot of things that were said from this side of the fence were NOT said or started by me. We were told things by different people concerning your conversations with them either when you were here or after you left. I personally have never got into a conversation about any of this with anyone except Tameka, my pastor, and of course Wendy. And even when Wendy first asked me about you awhile back well before she went off on me, I didn't bash you at all. and you can ask her. The recent uproar of all this is actually from you contacting people and telling them all you have been telling them, and that just starts more trouble, and more people talking.
So listen, this is not as secret on my end as you think and being there and not here you are not getting the full picture. Mostly everyone here either in the group or my inner circle know about this now. And the focus of them knowing is the fact that I fell from grace a few years back, it was my fault, I can't blame anybody else, because no matter what if I was where I was supposed to be in God that wouldn't have happened. And I have been trying to climb my way up from the fall every since. Most of them unless they were in the group at that time don't even know who it was, because I don't even mention your name. The names and details aren't as important as the act. So everyone basically knows and they are still with me, and have forgiven. It is very unfortunate that all this has gone down. And I will take the blame. I should have known better, and I was in leadership so yeah, by right it makes it my fault. That's what God says, to whom much is given much is required, and I failed. I failed you, I failed the ministry, and I failed my marriage. So I have been trying to repair it all since the fall.
Look, you have made it abundantly clear that you want nothing to do with me. You have vowed to dedicate your life to being a good mother and raise your children to the best of your ability, and I know you will do that. So I wont bother you after this, I got nothing to say to anyone concerning you, else after this. I am asking for your forgiveness for ALL the wrong I have done or said to you, and like I said, a lot I didn't say or do, but nevertheless I take it all in and ask for your forgiveness.
And yes, I have totally forgiven you for all that has been said, true or not(I'm not sure if you want or need it, but you got it), we have to move on and as long as we hold this we can only go so far.
also your hotmail account is sending out spam emails, FYI
-- Israel
The first thing I did after reading this "letter" is I went immediately to my Hotmail account and changed my password and settings. Then I re-read the "letter" to decided whether or not I wanted to respond. First of all, anyone who knows me knows that I can't just sit back and let someone (even someone I despise) think untruths about me, so OF COURSE I responded. My response was to let him know that even while he thought I was living my life just to make his miserable, that I was paying NO attention to him and his sorry "wife". While I was posting to my blog, I was NOT discussing this with ANYONE IRL! I was venting on my blog while he was seriously lying on me about everything.I also didn't want to disrespect him by not even acknowledging his letter. I wanted him to know that I received it, read it and this is how I feel about the misconceptions that you put in my inbox. Anyway, here's my response to him:
Israel,
As you said yourself, there are many things thaat have been said true and untrue, but there is something that you really need to know. I have NOT contacted anyone concerning this situation. Anything that I told ANYONE was because they contacted ME first. Wendy only knows what she knows, not because of ME but because of you and the lies about me that she said you that YOU told her. I corrected her.Wendy and I spoke about this when my daughter was an INFANT, her knowledge of this not new. After we spoke all those years ago, we lost touch. I think it was mainly because I had gone on with my life and wasn't on MySpace anymore. She left a message for me on MySpace and I happened to check my mail. She told me that she had a new Facebook page and we became friends there, This was about 6-8 weeks ago, she asked me what was new and had you contacted me, I told her no. I told her that I hadn't heard from you since July 2008, which is true. Then I told her that the only thing that I had heard was that you had been at my UHaul storage. THEY called me a few weeks ago and when I asked for a description, it sounded like you so that's who I thought it was. She became angry, I'm assuming because you hadn't even inquired about my baby and wanted to write you. She sent me a copy of the letter and then sent it to you. She wanted to know if I had any issues with her writing and I told her to do what she had to do. NOW, again, whether you believe me or NOT, I have not contacted anyone about you. Why would I do that now? The time to do it would have been when I was mad at you, but I was minding my business. Kyndall is nearly three, what would I gain from bringing this up. You did exactly what I expected you to do. You went away.
Now after the letter, Danielle got involved. If you ask her, she will tell you that Wendy told her what was what. I didn't speak to Danielle until after she already knew. She contacted me on Facebook and I verified what Wendy told her after she told me what was being said about me. After that, she decided to leave your group. I told both of them that since the Lord changed ME, maybe He changed you too and that it was done for me. THEN Danielle told Kristal. Then Kristal contacted me and told me what was being said about me, so I verified what Danielle told her. That was it! I have no interest in making myself look bad and I refused to take the blame in this alone anymore. "Danielle is in sin, she slept with several different men!" "She doesn't know WHO that baby's father is, it could be anyone"! These are the things I was hearing, so obviously I got upset and told the truth. If that makes me wrong, then I am. But MY pastor told me to stop lying about the situation so I did.
And after all this, I was told that you were telling people that I drugged you. (Juanell told Tabitha that!) That I had been chasing you for years and that the main reason I came there was to get pregnant by you. Israel, really? Is that what you really think of me? I drugged you? Wow. Well, anyway, there's nothing I want to say about any of that except that you and I both know none of that is true. You know me better than just about anyone and you KNOW that I don't take being lied on well. For some reason I HAVE to defend myself and that's the only reason I wrote you back. After all the letters I've written you with no reponse from you, I felt that I owed you the respect of validating your letter, the respect that you never gave me when I wrote.
Anyway, you're right. I really don't want anything else to do with you. I have forgiven you and have moved on with my life. It is sad that our friendship had to end this way. Alot of things could have been handled differently. I understand why you wanted to distance yourself, but did you have to do it at my expense? My children continue to suffer because of what I, as their mother allowed to happen to them. To be quite frank, the situation that happened between me and you is secondary. When you sit in an emergency room because your child has tried to kill herself, you gain alot of perspective. Karson is still afraid of going to the bathroom, I don't know what happened yet but I hope whoever terrorized my kids is happy. The sin happened and if you did as I did and asked for forgiveness then God has forgiven you. He has forgiven me too and for that I am grateful. He could have killed us in our sin but He was merciful. He gave me a beautfiul baby girl that I love more than anything. I forgive you and as I wrote you long ago asking for your forgiveness, I hope that you have forgiven me too. However, I am not going to say "IF I did anything", I obviously did for you to say some of the things that you said, SO I ask for your forgiveness as well.
I will do as you asked me and Kyndall will never know who you are. She will never intrude on your life. All I ask is that you send me what belongs to me, for you to replace my laptop and I will close this portion of my life. For some reason, I can't let that go. My therapist says that it's a symbol of what you took from me. You'll be glad to know that I am over you. I guess this is what it took, although I really can't blame just you. It was MY fault too. I could have said no, I could have stayed in Niagara Falls because no matter how much we both lie and say we had no idea that we would end up sleeping together, we BOTH know it was inevitable. BUT I have no regrets because to regret this would be regrettng my daughter and I will NEVER regret having her. Thank you for your part in her, that's the part of you that I will always love. Thanks for the letter, I appreciate you candor and your apology.
Danielle
Now I think I handled that like an adult. However, he STILL blames ME for how this all got out. It's not MY fault people know, it's HIS! I had to defend myself and I refuse to let anyone badmouth me about this situation again.
First of all let me give you a disclaimer before you even start to read this. I am sending this with all sincerity, no hidden agendas, nobody is coaching me, I'm not being forced, and this is not a last resort effort. I am sending this because I know I need to.
In spite of everything that has been said and done on both of our parts, the true and the untrue, I still care about you and all the kids. I know this can be a strain and I certainly don't want to be anymore of a hindrance that takes your focus off of raising them. I know you will go to hell and back for them. A lot of things have been said and done, and I do know that everything that was said true or not was not necessarily your exact words and some of the details were twisted as being told by others. So just know that goes the same for me. A lot of things that were said from this side of the fence were NOT said or started by me. We were told things by different people concerning your conversations with them either when you were here or after you left. I personally have never got into a conversation about any of this with anyone except Tameka, my pastor, and of course Wendy. And even when Wendy first asked me about you awhile back well before she went off on me, I didn't bash you at all. and you can ask her. The recent uproar of all this is actually from you contacting people and telling them all you have been telling them, and that just starts more trouble, and more people talking.
So listen, this is not as secret on my end as you think and being there and not here you are not getting the full picture. Mostly everyone here either in the group or my inner circle know about this now. And the focus of them knowing is the fact that I fell from grace a few years back, it was my fault, I can't blame anybody else, because no matter what if I was where I was supposed to be in God that wouldn't have happened. And I have been trying to climb my way up from the fall every since. Most of them unless they were in the group at that time don't even know who it was, because I don't even mention your name. The names and details aren't as important as the act. So everyone basically knows and they are still with me, and have forgiven. It is very unfortunate that all this has gone down. And I will take the blame. I should have known better, and I was in leadership so yeah, by right it makes it my fault. That's what God says, to whom much is given much is required, and I failed. I failed you, I failed the ministry, and I failed my marriage. So I have been trying to repair it all since the fall.
Look, you have made it abundantly clear that you want nothing to do with me. You have vowed to dedicate your life to being a good mother and raise your children to the best of your ability, and I know you will do that. So I wont bother you after this, I got nothing to say to anyone concerning you, else after this. I am asking for your forgiveness for ALL the wrong I have done or said to you, and like I said, a lot I didn't say or do, but nevertheless I take it all in and ask for your forgiveness.
And yes, I have totally forgiven you for all that has been said, true or not(I'm not sure if you want or need it, but you got it), we have to move on and as long as we hold this we can only go so far.
also your hotmail account is sending out spam emails, FYI
-- Israel
The first thing I did after reading this "letter" is I went immediately to my Hotmail account and changed my password and settings. Then I re-read the "letter" to decided whether or not I wanted to respond. First of all, anyone who knows me knows that I can't just sit back and let someone (even someone I despise) think untruths about me, so OF COURSE I responded. My response was to let him know that even while he thought I was living my life just to make his miserable, that I was paying NO attention to him and his sorry "wife". While I was posting to my blog, I was NOT discussing this with ANYONE IRL! I was venting on my blog while he was seriously lying on me about everything.I also didn't want to disrespect him by not even acknowledging his letter. I wanted him to know that I received it, read it and this is how I feel about the misconceptions that you put in my inbox. Anyway, here's my response to him:
Israel,
As you said yourself, there are many things thaat have been said true and untrue, but there is something that you really need to know. I have NOT contacted anyone concerning this situation. Anything that I told ANYONE was because they contacted ME first. Wendy only knows what she knows, not because of ME but because of you and the lies about me that she said you that YOU told her. I corrected her.Wendy and I spoke about this when my daughter was an INFANT, her knowledge of this not new. After we spoke all those years ago, we lost touch. I think it was mainly because I had gone on with my life and wasn't on MySpace anymore. She left a message for me on MySpace and I happened to check my mail. She told me that she had a new Facebook page and we became friends there, This was about 6-8 weeks ago, she asked me what was new and had you contacted me, I told her no. I told her that I hadn't heard from you since July 2008, which is true. Then I told her that the only thing that I had heard was that you had been at my UHaul storage. THEY called me a few weeks ago and when I asked for a description, it sounded like you so that's who I thought it was. She became angry, I'm assuming because you hadn't even inquired about my baby and wanted to write you. She sent me a copy of the letter and then sent it to you. She wanted to know if I had any issues with her writing and I told her to do what she had to do. NOW, again, whether you believe me or NOT, I have not contacted anyone about you. Why would I do that now? The time to do it would have been when I was mad at you, but I was minding my business. Kyndall is nearly three, what would I gain from bringing this up. You did exactly what I expected you to do. You went away.
Now after the letter, Danielle got involved. If you ask her, she will tell you that Wendy told her what was what. I didn't speak to Danielle until after she already knew. She contacted me on Facebook and I verified what Wendy told her after she told me what was being said about me. After that, she decided to leave your group. I told both of them that since the Lord changed ME, maybe He changed you too and that it was done for me. THEN Danielle told Kristal. Then Kristal contacted me and told me what was being said about me, so I verified what Danielle told her. That was it! I have no interest in making myself look bad and I refused to take the blame in this alone anymore. "Danielle is in sin, she slept with several different men!" "She doesn't know WHO that baby's father is, it could be anyone"! These are the things I was hearing, so obviously I got upset and told the truth. If that makes me wrong, then I am. But MY pastor told me to stop lying about the situation so I did.
And after all this, I was told that you were telling people that I drugged you. (Juanell told Tabitha that!) That I had been chasing you for years and that the main reason I came there was to get pregnant by you. Israel, really? Is that what you really think of me? I drugged you? Wow. Well, anyway, there's nothing I want to say about any of that except that you and I both know none of that is true. You know me better than just about anyone and you KNOW that I don't take being lied on well. For some reason I HAVE to defend myself and that's the only reason I wrote you back. After all the letters I've written you with no reponse from you, I felt that I owed you the respect of validating your letter, the respect that you never gave me when I wrote.
Anyway, you're right. I really don't want anything else to do with you. I have forgiven you and have moved on with my life. It is sad that our friendship had to end this way. Alot of things could have been handled differently. I understand why you wanted to distance yourself, but did you have to do it at my expense? My children continue to suffer because of what I, as their mother allowed to happen to them. To be quite frank, the situation that happened between me and you is secondary. When you sit in an emergency room because your child has tried to kill herself, you gain alot of perspective. Karson is still afraid of going to the bathroom, I don't know what happened yet but I hope whoever terrorized my kids is happy. The sin happened and if you did as I did and asked for forgiveness then God has forgiven you. He has forgiven me too and for that I am grateful. He could have killed us in our sin but He was merciful. He gave me a beautfiul baby girl that I love more than anything. I forgive you and as I wrote you long ago asking for your forgiveness, I hope that you have forgiven me too. However, I am not going to say "IF I did anything", I obviously did for you to say some of the things that you said, SO I ask for your forgiveness as well.
I will do as you asked me and Kyndall will never know who you are. She will never intrude on your life. All I ask is that you send me what belongs to me, for you to replace my laptop and I will close this portion of my life. For some reason, I can't let that go. My therapist says that it's a symbol of what you took from me. You'll be glad to know that I am over you. I guess this is what it took, although I really can't blame just you. It was MY fault too. I could have said no, I could have stayed in Niagara Falls because no matter how much we both lie and say we had no idea that we would end up sleeping together, we BOTH know it was inevitable. BUT I have no regrets because to regret this would be regrettng my daughter and I will NEVER regret having her. Thank you for your part in her, that's the part of you that I will always love. Thanks for the letter, I appreciate you candor and your apology.
Danielle
Now I think I handled that like an adult. However, he STILL blames ME for how this all got out. It's not MY fault people know, it's HIS! I had to defend myself and I refuse to let anyone badmouth me about this situation again.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
More MySpace Blog....
OK.... STILL trying to get it all over here so I can delete my MySpace page....
Sep 10, 2008
Current mood: energetic
HEY ALL!!
You know what? I am really digging my life right now! I'm living a life that I never in a million years thought I'd be living! I can go to the bank and withdraw money without even THINKING about it! Today I withdrew $1.000.00 dollars and took my 8 month old shopping for absolutely NO REASON! (Oh, somebody remind me to go get some onesies and socks, I totally forgot!) God has been SO good to me, He could have let me die in my sin, but He was merciful to me and my children!
I have a beautiful 10 year old daughter who can sing, JUST LIKE HER MOM! She's a big girl who is doing wonderfully in 5th grade! As a matter of fact, she has become so much more well behaved since we returned from Hell. She's a little lady who's always trying to help me take care of her brother and sister! It looks like the therapy is really helping her AND Karson. They've changed so much since we've been back. And guess what? I don't have to beat them to death! I KNEW it could be done! I KNEW that I didn't have to shame and ridicule them to get them to mind me.
I have a 6 year old son who is my little man. In fact, he's the ONLY man who has never lied to me or hurt me. It's a shame when a 6 year old is more of a man than a 36 year old. That's the best thing, children tell the truth no matter what! Whether you love it or hate it, they always say what's what! He's doing really well in his drum lessons and he LOVES his karate lessons. You can't lock children in the house and expect them to thrive!
And last but CERTAINLY not least, I have a beautiful 8 month old. She's my sweet little heart! I love Kyndall so much sometimes I can't bear it but it has in no way underscored the love I feel for my other babies! These children have bought me through some horrible days and nights! Man, if it weren't for them and the Lord I don't know where I'd be right now!
It feels good to be doing what I want to do, to be going to church where I want to go, to be singing in a ministry that actually has a chance to go somewhere because God really ordained it. Where the leader is a true man of God and not always "booty" hunting. A man who KNOWS how to minister to God's people and not sound awkward and has no Word in him to share with people! It's ONE thing to sound O.K. and have annointing but a totally different thing when you're singing and the only people who feel anything are the people in your group!
It's good to spend MY money the way I want and to not have to worry about someone checking my bank account to see how much he can "borrow" from me KNOWING that I am trying to raise children on my own OR calling my choices dumb just because I'M not used to being without money! I'm used to having money and spending it ANYWAY I CHOOSE! God has always been good to me. And I have NEVER gone without ANYTHING that I needed! He has always made certain that I and my children have never gone without anything!
So anyway, Kyndall and I went shopping today.... AGAIN! We went to The Children's Place, Old Navy (I was disappointed there!), Baby Gap. Osh Kosh, and then we ran through Gymboree and that was all before 1:00pm! Keep in mind now that the mall doesn't open until 10:00am!! LOL Yeah we did ALOT of damage in just three hours! Then we had a lunch break. (I had chinese and Kyndall had breastmilk and pears!) THEN we ran out to Babies'R'Us for onesies, socks, and some of the cutest bibs and shoes EVER! We had a BALL running around today! We mde ANOTHER bank run and went over to FootLocker (for Kennedy and Karson!). I HATE SNEAKERS, but my kids like them SO I guess I'll be buying them for a while! I hope that Kyndall is my girlie girl who doesn't like them because Kennedy LOVES them! We stopped in Stride-Rite for Kyndall's FIRST pre-walker shoes!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! She was measured and EVERYTHING! LOL Kyn and I had SO much fun today! She was kinda cranky 'cause she didn't really get to nap with me snapping her in and out of the car base and onto her stroller and back onto her car base! And it didn't help that we kept getting stopped by people saying how beautiful my baby is, well she IS beautiful! What can I say? I'm just happy that she looks like ME and KARSON! A blessing! LOL I just hope we can do that again soon, I had so mch fun being with my daughter! With her smile, and those beautiful eyes and ALL THAT hair! I love my baby so much and I praise the Lord daily for her! Anyway, thank you for reading about my day with my daughter...... Probably bored the crap outta you but I was excited!!! LOL
God Bless,
Dani and Kyndall
10:05 PM
Sep 10, 2008
Current mood: energetic
HEY ALL!!
You know what? I am really digging my life right now! I'm living a life that I never in a million years thought I'd be living! I can go to the bank and withdraw money without even THINKING about it! Today I withdrew $1.000.00 dollars and took my 8 month old shopping for absolutely NO REASON! (Oh, somebody remind me to go get some onesies and socks, I totally forgot!) God has been SO good to me, He could have let me die in my sin, but He was merciful to me and my children!
I have a beautiful 10 year old daughter who can sing, JUST LIKE HER MOM! She's a big girl who is doing wonderfully in 5th grade! As a matter of fact, she has become so much more well behaved since we returned from Hell. She's a little lady who's always trying to help me take care of her brother and sister! It looks like the therapy is really helping her AND Karson. They've changed so much since we've been back. And guess what? I don't have to beat them to death! I KNEW it could be done! I KNEW that I didn't have to shame and ridicule them to get them to mind me.
I have a 6 year old son who is my little man. In fact, he's the ONLY man who has never lied to me or hurt me. It's a shame when a 6 year old is more of a man than a 36 year old. That's the best thing, children tell the truth no matter what! Whether you love it or hate it, they always say what's what! He's doing really well in his drum lessons and he LOVES his karate lessons. You can't lock children in the house and expect them to thrive!
And last but CERTAINLY not least, I have a beautiful 8 month old. She's my sweet little heart! I love Kyndall so much sometimes I can't bear it but it has in no way underscored the love I feel for my other babies! These children have bought me through some horrible days and nights! Man, if it weren't for them and the Lord I don't know where I'd be right now!
It feels good to be doing what I want to do, to be going to church where I want to go, to be singing in a ministry that actually has a chance to go somewhere because God really ordained it. Where the leader is a true man of God and not always "booty" hunting. A man who KNOWS how to minister to God's people and not sound awkward and has no Word in him to share with people! It's ONE thing to sound O.K. and have annointing but a totally different thing when you're singing and the only people who feel anything are the people in your group!
It's good to spend MY money the way I want and to not have to worry about someone checking my bank account to see how much he can "borrow" from me KNOWING that I am trying to raise children on my own OR calling my choices dumb just because I'M not used to being without money! I'm used to having money and spending it ANYWAY I CHOOSE! God has always been good to me. And I have NEVER gone without ANYTHING that I needed! He has always made certain that I and my children have never gone without anything!
So anyway, Kyndall and I went shopping today.... AGAIN! We went to The Children's Place, Old Navy (I was disappointed there!), Baby Gap. Osh Kosh, and then we ran through Gymboree and that was all before 1:00pm! Keep in mind now that the mall doesn't open until 10:00am!! LOL Yeah we did ALOT of damage in just three hours! Then we had a lunch break. (I had chinese and Kyndall had breastmilk and pears!) THEN we ran out to Babies'R'Us for onesies, socks, and some of the cutest bibs and shoes EVER! We had a BALL running around today! We mde ANOTHER bank run and went over to FootLocker (for Kennedy and Karson!). I HATE SNEAKERS, but my kids like them SO I guess I'll be buying them for a while! I hope that Kyndall is my girlie girl who doesn't like them because Kennedy LOVES them! We stopped in Stride-Rite for Kyndall's FIRST pre-walker shoes!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! She was measured and EVERYTHING! LOL Kyn and I had SO much fun today! She was kinda cranky 'cause she didn't really get to nap with me snapping her in and out of the car base and onto her stroller and back onto her car base! And it didn't help that we kept getting stopped by people saying how beautiful my baby is, well she IS beautiful! What can I say? I'm just happy that she looks like ME and KARSON! A blessing! LOL I just hope we can do that again soon, I had so mch fun being with my daughter! With her smile, and those beautiful eyes and ALL THAT hair! I love my baby so much and I praise the Lord daily for her! Anyway, thank you for reading about my day with my daughter...... Probably bored the crap outta you but I was excited!!! LOL
God Bless,
Dani and Kyndall
10:05 PM
HaPpY ThAnKsGiViNg!!!
Yes, yes, yes, I know it is TWO DAYS AFTER Thanksgiving but I really didn't have the time to write at all, what with family and food and fun!! I was thinking of what I could possibly be thankful for. After all, I spend alot of time in this blog complaining about how some loser and his loser family messed up my life. I realized that even in that, I have many things to be thankful for....
1. I am thankful for my life, health and strength, but most of all I am grateful to still be mentally stable after my experience there, after all look what you've done to your "wife's" self-esteem.
2. I am thankful for Kyndall because while I get to see her every day, you don't. I heard the first words, you didn't. I saw the first teeth pop through pink baby gums, you didn't. I got to walk the floor with her during her first fever, you didn't. I have been present at EACH and EVERY doctor's appointment, you haven't. I get to listen to her vocabulary grow each day, you don't. I get to watch her sweet face as she sleeps at night, you don't. I get to hear the sweet bell of sound that is her laughter, you don't. I get to shop 'til I drop, buying her beautiful outfits and dressing her like the princess that she is, you can't afford it. I get to love her, you don't. Finally, I have the privilege of even KNOWING her, whereas, you never will. Your loss.
3. I am thankful that Kennedy if well enough to talk about you without sobbing. She can look at pictures of you without vomitting and has not tried to kill herself because of YOU for over a year now. She is doing well in therapy and while she is still on meds, doesn't think about you and what you did to her anymore.
4. I am thankful that Karson went to the bathroom BY HIMSELF for the first time last Friday. His therapist says that he is healing. Eventually, he won't even remember you and every evil thing that you did will never cross his mind again. One day, he'll sleep through the night without dreaming of your "wife" beating him for no reason OR of your horrible son putting him in a toy chest and sitting on it so he can't get out. One day, he'll be as free mentally from you people as he is physically.
5. I am thankful that even though you choose to continue to lie and hide what you did, God has freed me of it. I am thankful for the strength to step forward and claim my part in the sin so that I could be forgiven. I am thankful that God has forgiven me and that He loved me enough to help me get over you. You will never have the effect you had on me again.....
6. I am thankful for my singing ability and how God will show YOU my reward. He will show me being rewarded for being a woman of my word and never dealing with you again. You will watch me win Sunday's Best! You will watch me sign my first record contract and you will see my CD in stores! However, your ministry will continue to decline until there is no one in your group but people who choose to believe your lies.
7. I am thankful for my supportive family and a mother that even though I tried to shut her out of my life, at YOUR urging, stayed with me even through my sin.She prayed for me and loved me even when I was trying to listen to YOU and dog her. Imagine what would have happened if I had listened to you. I would have NO ONE!
Thanksgiving is just another day for me because I am thankful for the things on my list year-round. God is good to me daily and each morning brings bew mercies from Him.
D
1. I am thankful for my life, health and strength, but most of all I am grateful to still be mentally stable after my experience there, after all look what you've done to your "wife's" self-esteem.
2. I am thankful for Kyndall because while I get to see her every day, you don't. I heard the first words, you didn't. I saw the first teeth pop through pink baby gums, you didn't. I got to walk the floor with her during her first fever, you didn't. I have been present at EACH and EVERY doctor's appointment, you haven't. I get to listen to her vocabulary grow each day, you don't. I get to watch her sweet face as she sleeps at night, you don't. I get to hear the sweet bell of sound that is her laughter, you don't. I get to shop 'til I drop, buying her beautiful outfits and dressing her like the princess that she is, you can't afford it. I get to love her, you don't. Finally, I have the privilege of even KNOWING her, whereas, you never will. Your loss.
3. I am thankful that Kennedy if well enough to talk about you without sobbing. She can look at pictures of you without vomitting and has not tried to kill herself because of YOU for over a year now. She is doing well in therapy and while she is still on meds, doesn't think about you and what you did to her anymore.
4. I am thankful that Karson went to the bathroom BY HIMSELF for the first time last Friday. His therapist says that he is healing. Eventually, he won't even remember you and every evil thing that you did will never cross his mind again. One day, he'll sleep through the night without dreaming of your "wife" beating him for no reason OR of your horrible son putting him in a toy chest and sitting on it so he can't get out. One day, he'll be as free mentally from you people as he is physically.
5. I am thankful that even though you choose to continue to lie and hide what you did, God has freed me of it. I am thankful for the strength to step forward and claim my part in the sin so that I could be forgiven. I am thankful that God has forgiven me and that He loved me enough to help me get over you. You will never have the effect you had on me again.....
6. I am thankful for my singing ability and how God will show YOU my reward. He will show me being rewarded for being a woman of my word and never dealing with you again. You will watch me win Sunday's Best! You will watch me sign my first record contract and you will see my CD in stores! However, your ministry will continue to decline until there is no one in your group but people who choose to believe your lies.
7. I am thankful for my supportive family and a mother that even though I tried to shut her out of my life, at YOUR urging, stayed with me even through my sin.She prayed for me and loved me even when I was trying to listen to YOU and dog her. Imagine what would have happened if I had listened to you. I would have NO ONE!
Thanksgiving is just another day for me because I am thankful for the things on my list year-round. God is good to me daily and each morning brings bew mercies from Him.
D
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Still more from MySpace....
Aug 10, 2008
Current mood: contemplative
It’s all done now.....
Well, for ME anyway.... I was kinda concerned about him, but I thought about all of the things that I had to do on my own and I figure he'll be just fine! And if not, it's really not my affair anymore. She called and tried to go off on me and I must admit I thought it would be MUCH worst. All she really did was try to put some guilt trip on me about all that she had SUPPOSEDLY done for me, when in reality I have done WAY more for her than she has EVER done for me. ESPECIALLY FINANCIALLY!
I spoke to my pastor to update him on the siutation today, he told me to be encouraged, that my part in the whole mess is over. It's not my fault that she's just NOW finding out. I asked if maybe I should have tried harder to tell her, he told me NO, that it was NOT MY PLACE to ever tell her. After all, I'm not the one in a relationship with her. I KNEW I was right about that! I'm not gonna bash her, she DOES have a right to be upset, I just hope that she's smart enough to place blame where it belongs and NOT ALL ON ME! Anyway, my pastor told me not to contact them again and that if I REALLY wanted my laptop back that we could just take it to court. But I really don't want to waste another SECOND of my life or another DIME of my money on those people! Hopefully he'll just send me my stuff and we'll be done. But we'll see......
One thing that bothered me though, she said that I came there to get a baby from him! LOL AS IF..... Now, why on EARTH would I purposely get pregnant for someone who had his head so far up her behind that he can't see daylight? Someone who is SO henpecked that he wouldn't even stand up for his OWN sin and claim his OWN child? As much as I love my baby, and was willing to give up ANYTHING for her, even up to my own LIFE. He couldn't even give her an identity. Well, she has one now and God is to be glorified!
I'm done.....
'Night Blog.....
10:45 PM
This one is self-explanatory as well.... The next goes a bit more in-depth.
Sep 4, 2008
Current mood: accomplished
Excerpt from my book...... Let me know what you think!
O.K. So here it is about a month after it all hit the fan and I'm kinda burnin' about a few things! That phone call rings in my head, especially all of the things that she said that she was TOTALLY wrong about;
1. She said that I came there specifically to have a baby for him.
That HAD to be something that he told her to try to absolve himself of any responsibility! Answer this question for me; Why on earth would I PURPOSELY get pregnant for a man who can not take care of the many children that he already has. Someone who is ALWAYS broke and usually had to borrow money FROM ME!!
2. She referred to my baby several times as "that baby" or it!
First of all, that pissed me off more than anything because my baby is a person with a name and a personality. I guess it makes her feel better to dehumanize my baby than to realize that she is a person, a person HER "husband" helped to create! I have never been evil or ugly about any of her kids even though I could have MANY times! But I realized that they are innocents and have NEVER done anything to me,which is what SHE should consider instead of hating my baby because her "husband" can't keep his hands to himself.
3. She said that she "took care" of me?
WHEN? When was I taken care of? The only thing that got "taken care" of was my WALLET when I was around them! I helped with your bills, your grocery, I even paid your phone bill for three months because your "husband" was broke and couldn't afford to keep your phones on! Oh and let's not forget about the money to get the keyboard out of the pawn shop, that money was a LOAN. Guess what? I might as well should have kissed that money before I gave it to him because I never saw it again!
4. She said she never did anything to me.
Oh really? Well, let's talk about the lectures about my children while yours were flunking out of school and getting suspended! How about showing me how to keep my house clean while YOURS looked like a hell-hole. How the only time you ever even TRIED to clean was when you were going to have rehearsal. Going off on me about MY kids and yours weren't under complete control! I can say I never found any dead mice in my bedroom. Talking to me about my finances while your lights and gas were getting cut off! Oh, and how about catching up that 4-5 months of back rent before you tell ANYONE how to handle money?
5.I seduced him?
LOL That was the biggest laugh of all! I can't believe she even went there with me! I guess ALL the women he ever cheated on you with, INCLUDING YOUR VERY OWN COUSIN seduced him. He's so innocent and irresistable to any and all women! Just to let you know, dear heart; Remember that woman you took such relish in telling me that you got rid of, you know the one who was sending him all the dirty e-mails and phone calls. Well, there was a reason; HE SLEPT WITH HER! He told YOU nothing ever happend and you believed him! He met her at a hotel and screwed her! At least that's what he told ME! Who knows though. He might have been lying to me too, that's about the only thing he did well.....
I'm done with that part but now it's time to blow open some of the lies that he told you on me;
1. Remember the time when he told you that I went onto your family's network and took those sensual pictures of him? Well that's NOT TRUE! He actually GAVE me those pictures on a CD. (Which I still have!) He told me that you could NEVER know that I had those pics but what he didn't count on was your nosy self going into MY computer files and finding them!
2. Remember when he told you that he was going to the barber shop at 6:00am so he could get in before anyone else? Not true, love. He was actually at MY house, he would go get his haircut AFTER he spent an hour or two in my bed. This happened SEVERAL times!
3. Remember when he was working for **** and told you that he was going right home after work? He actually came RIGHT to MY house... Ask Cieyana. He woke her up coming in...
4. Remember when he told you that he never came to my house while you were in ******** taking care of your cousin? He lied..... He was at my house whenever he disappeared for any amount of time.
5. He told you that the reason we were so late showing up at that ******* ***'s outing when we took them to Magic Mountain is because I wasn't ready when he came for me? Another lie. That was the day we conceived my baby.
So as you can see. He lied and lied and lied. Over and over again. AND I can't imagine what he told you I did to make you stay with him! Oh, and one more thing;
6. Remember when I came up to help you all sing at ********** and he told you that we hadn't seen each other in years? Lie. He had seen me that week you were at the **** and he left early to stop in Niagara Falls to see me. Oh yeah, and he spent the night with me.
So while he was telling me that he loved you but was in love with me, he was telling you that he loved me but was in love with you! I really hope you hear me. But knowing you with your track record, you'll dismiss all of this because of ONE lie that he comes up with.
Now I have some questions;
1. Is your self-esteem REALLY so low that you will continue to live with a man that has lied to and cheated on you for the last 15 years?
2. Do you really believe that the Lord loves you so little that He would make you stay in a marriage with a man who does not respect you OR marriage?
3. Are you afraid that you can't raise 4 children alone? You might as well be doing that now, you take care of everything anyway, he does nothing.
4. Do you really believe that God ordained your marriage? Or do you know that the only reason he married you is because you told him that you were pregnant and would NOT under any circumstances have another baby without having a husband? He married you for the SAME reason that he married the first psycho, to save his baby's life. Only with you it wasn't that noble, he also wanted to keep you from pressing charges after he raped you.
Sorry to be so blunt, but you're sleeping and someone needs to wake you up.
So that was a part of the first chapter, let me know what you think!
5:34 PM
Current mood: contemplative
It’s all done now.....
Well, for ME anyway.... I was kinda concerned about him, but I thought about all of the things that I had to do on my own and I figure he'll be just fine! And if not, it's really not my affair anymore. She called and tried to go off on me and I must admit I thought it would be MUCH worst. All she really did was try to put some guilt trip on me about all that she had SUPPOSEDLY done for me, when in reality I have done WAY more for her than she has EVER done for me. ESPECIALLY FINANCIALLY!
I spoke to my pastor to update him on the siutation today, he told me to be encouraged, that my part in the whole mess is over. It's not my fault that she's just NOW finding out. I asked if maybe I should have tried harder to tell her, he told me NO, that it was NOT MY PLACE to ever tell her. After all, I'm not the one in a relationship with her. I KNEW I was right about that! I'm not gonna bash her, she DOES have a right to be upset, I just hope that she's smart enough to place blame where it belongs and NOT ALL ON ME! Anyway, my pastor told me not to contact them again and that if I REALLY wanted my laptop back that we could just take it to court. But I really don't want to waste another SECOND of my life or another DIME of my money on those people! Hopefully he'll just send me my stuff and we'll be done. But we'll see......
One thing that bothered me though, she said that I came there to get a baby from him! LOL AS IF..... Now, why on EARTH would I purposely get pregnant for someone who had his head so far up her behind that he can't see daylight? Someone who is SO henpecked that he wouldn't even stand up for his OWN sin and claim his OWN child? As much as I love my baby, and was willing to give up ANYTHING for her, even up to my own LIFE. He couldn't even give her an identity. Well, she has one now and God is to be glorified!
I'm done.....
'Night Blog.....
10:45 PM
This one is self-explanatory as well.... The next goes a bit more in-depth.
Sep 4, 2008
Current mood: accomplished
Excerpt from my book...... Let me know what you think!
O.K. So here it is about a month after it all hit the fan and I'm kinda burnin' about a few things! That phone call rings in my head, especially all of the things that she said that she was TOTALLY wrong about;
1. She said that I came there specifically to have a baby for him.
That HAD to be something that he told her to try to absolve himself of any responsibility! Answer this question for me; Why on earth would I PURPOSELY get pregnant for a man who can not take care of the many children that he already has. Someone who is ALWAYS broke and usually had to borrow money FROM ME!!
2. She referred to my baby several times as "that baby" or it!
First of all, that pissed me off more than anything because my baby is a person with a name and a personality. I guess it makes her feel better to dehumanize my baby than to realize that she is a person, a person HER "husband" helped to create! I have never been evil or ugly about any of her kids even though I could have MANY times! But I realized that they are innocents and have NEVER done anything to me,which is what SHE should consider instead of hating my baby because her "husband" can't keep his hands to himself.
3. She said that she "took care" of me?
WHEN? When was I taken care of? The only thing that got "taken care" of was my WALLET when I was around them! I helped with your bills, your grocery, I even paid your phone bill for three months because your "husband" was broke and couldn't afford to keep your phones on! Oh and let's not forget about the money to get the keyboard out of the pawn shop, that money was a LOAN. Guess what? I might as well should have kissed that money before I gave it to him because I never saw it again!
4. She said she never did anything to me.
Oh really? Well, let's talk about the lectures about my children while yours were flunking out of school and getting suspended! How about showing me how to keep my house clean while YOURS looked like a hell-hole. How the only time you ever even TRIED to clean was when you were going to have rehearsal. Going off on me about MY kids and yours weren't under complete control! I can say I never found any dead mice in my bedroom. Talking to me about my finances while your lights and gas were getting cut off! Oh, and how about catching up that 4-5 months of back rent before you tell ANYONE how to handle money?
5.I seduced him?
LOL That was the biggest laugh of all! I can't believe she even went there with me! I guess ALL the women he ever cheated on you with, INCLUDING YOUR VERY OWN COUSIN seduced him. He's so innocent and irresistable to any and all women! Just to let you know, dear heart; Remember that woman you took such relish in telling me that you got rid of, you know the one who was sending him all the dirty e-mails and phone calls. Well, there was a reason; HE SLEPT WITH HER! He told YOU nothing ever happend and you believed him! He met her at a hotel and screwed her! At least that's what he told ME! Who knows though. He might have been lying to me too, that's about the only thing he did well.....
I'm done with that part but now it's time to blow open some of the lies that he told you on me;
1. Remember the time when he told you that I went onto your family's network and took those sensual pictures of him? Well that's NOT TRUE! He actually GAVE me those pictures on a CD. (Which I still have!) He told me that you could NEVER know that I had those pics but what he didn't count on was your nosy self going into MY computer files and finding them!
2. Remember when he told you that he was going to the barber shop at 6:00am so he could get in before anyone else? Not true, love. He was actually at MY house, he would go get his haircut AFTER he spent an hour or two in my bed. This happened SEVERAL times!
3. Remember when he was working for **** and told you that he was going right home after work? He actually came RIGHT to MY house... Ask Cieyana. He woke her up coming in...
4. Remember when he told you that he never came to my house while you were in ******** taking care of your cousin? He lied..... He was at my house whenever he disappeared for any amount of time.
5. He told you that the reason we were so late showing up at that ******* ***'s outing when we took them to Magic Mountain is because I wasn't ready when he came for me? Another lie. That was the day we conceived my baby.
So as you can see. He lied and lied and lied. Over and over again. AND I can't imagine what he told you I did to make you stay with him! Oh, and one more thing;
6. Remember when I came up to help you all sing at ********** and he told you that we hadn't seen each other in years? Lie. He had seen me that week you were at the **** and he left early to stop in Niagara Falls to see me. Oh yeah, and he spent the night with me.
So while he was telling me that he loved you but was in love with me, he was telling you that he loved me but was in love with you! I really hope you hear me. But knowing you with your track record, you'll dismiss all of this because of ONE lie that he comes up with.
Now I have some questions;
1. Is your self-esteem REALLY so low that you will continue to live with a man that has lied to and cheated on you for the last 15 years?
2. Do you really believe that the Lord loves you so little that He would make you stay in a marriage with a man who does not respect you OR marriage?
3. Are you afraid that you can't raise 4 children alone? You might as well be doing that now, you take care of everything anyway, he does nothing.
4. Do you really believe that God ordained your marriage? Or do you know that the only reason he married you is because you told him that you were pregnant and would NOT under any circumstances have another baby without having a husband? He married you for the SAME reason that he married the first psycho, to save his baby's life. Only with you it wasn't that noble, he also wanted to keep you from pressing charges after he raped you.
Sorry to be so blunt, but you're sleeping and someone needs to wake you up.
So that was a part of the first chapter, let me know what you think!
5:34 PM
OK..... Going BACK to MySpace to transfer......
Mar 10, 2008
Current mood: blessed
Introducing Kyndall....
Well, after weeks of waiting, I am finally introducing my baby girl to MySpace BUT for 24 hours ONLY! There are people that I REALLY don't want to see her! SO, I am only leaving them up for 24 hours. That should give my friends time to see her and then no one can say that I never gave them a chance to see her!
Last week Kyndall had a cold!!! Talk about me freaking out, I mean I sat with her ALL NIGHT LONG!!! Listening to every sneeze, every sniffle, every little cough. Then there were the nights that she didn't want to eat because she couldn't breathe through her little nose...I know....Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.. Poor thing was miserable, BUT Glory Be To God, she's all done with it now! I'm so happy that she's feeling better now. AND nursing up a STORM!!! LOL Yeah, she's back to her usual GREEDY little self! Believe me when I say though, I am NOT complaining. I'd rather have her greedy and well any day!
Kennedy and Karson are doing better too, Karson is getting over his allergies SO he's back to getting into EVERYTHING! Kennedy is loving school and even though she was sick, she didn't wanna stay home from school. When I was her age if I got sick I WANTED to stay home. My mom used to spoil me SO badly when I was home sick! Did anyone else's mom make a bed for you on the couch and feed you soup, crackers, ginger ale and popsicles in between your LONG naps? Does anyone else remember watching The Price Is Right and then your mom's soap operas? My mom was into Guiding Light and The Young And The Restless!!! LOL I didn't feel good those days BUT it was always made me feel better to be with my mom. I used to look forward to being sick sometimes because I knew what it meant, being with mom all day and having all of her attention to myself! Anyway, I'm gonna go now before I start getting misty eyed remembering those days! Later...
Dani
7:39 PM
This post was written while I was still speaking to Isaiah and I didn't really want him or anyone in his family peering at pics of my daughter trying to spot a resemblance.
Jun 13, 2008
Current mood: adored
Hey!!
Do you know how it feels to be FIRST in a man's life? Do you know how it feels to have a man that is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY in love with JUST YOU? Do you know what it's like to not have to hear constant complaints and judgements about YOUR life from people who can't even keep THEIR lives together? How about getting house-cleaning advice from someone who doesn't keep their OWN house clean on the regular? How about having money that YOU earned and are able to spend the way YOU want to spend it without someone else telling you how to spend it when THEY could use a few lessons on how to manage money? Isn't it precious to be able to raise THREE children ALONE and still do better than a household that actually has TWO parents? How about never having to look up and find that the lights, gas and/or water has been shut off?
Sorry about all that, I just had to vent for a few minutes! AND now that I'm done I will not mention any of that anymore! There's no need, just because I have decided to move on and forgive the things that have been done to me. I feel like if the Lord can forgive me, I should be able to forgive the people who wronged me.
Anyway, life is good these days. God has blessed me immensely and I really have no complaints! I am getting ready to MOVE!!! I am going to Atlanta, GA where I think I'll have a better chance of getting my ministry off the ground! I'm ready for the Lord to use me in a mighty way and am preparing myself for whatever He wants me to do!
The kids? Well, they're doing just GREAT! Kennedy, Karson and Kyndall are growing and getting more and more beautiful as the days go by! Kennedy is turning into a little lady who cares more about her appearance and now REFUSES to leave the house without lipgloss!! LOL Yes, the rest of her has to be together too! Her hair, her outfit..... Wait! She's turning out just like ME!!! LOL Now that the baby is here and I'm back to my fly and fashionable self, I don't leave the house looking crazy anymore! Karson is doing WAY better, he's a little man who is in love with his baby sister! I mean, all he wants to do is stare at her or hold her. And if she's crying, he comes and tells me "Mommie, hurry up and get Candle (That's what he calls her!), she needs you!" He wants to help me bathe her and dress her. It's really sweet how close he is to her. I hope that all of them remain close to each other. Kyndall? Well, what can I say about my other little lady? LOL She has changed SO much! I have made some decisions concerning her. I have decided to STOP contacting her "father" about her. If he was really all that concerned about her, he would find a way to help me with her! Now, I don't NEED his help, nor do I want anything from him! I have made sure that Kyndall has had everything that she needs...... Including a father!!! LOL She has all she needs, and I don't think it's fair to keep him apprised of what's happening in her life when he's not apart of it! So, I'm done with that! I'm over him and being abandoned by him and I refuse to allow my daughter to go through being second best to his other kids! SO, she has a man in her life who treats her Kennedy and Karson like they're his own biological children! He wants to MARRY me, and have other children with me! He wants to ADOPT Kennedy, Karson AND Kyndall! And I have decided to allow him to do so! Kennedy and Karson's father has agreed to give up his paternal rights. AND Kyndall? Well since her donor couldn't be bothered to sign her birth certificate, we don't have to worry about that!!!
So, while YOU'RE raising someone else's daughter and can't be bothered with your OWN blood, someone else will be raising Kyndall! Hope it's worth it to you! Have a great life being henpecked and controlled!!
Dani
2:55 PM
This post says it all.....
Current mood: blessed
Introducing Kyndall....
Well, after weeks of waiting, I am finally introducing my baby girl to MySpace BUT for 24 hours ONLY! There are people that I REALLY don't want to see her! SO, I am only leaving them up for 24 hours. That should give my friends time to see her and then no one can say that I never gave them a chance to see her!
Last week Kyndall had a cold!!! Talk about me freaking out, I mean I sat with her ALL NIGHT LONG!!! Listening to every sneeze, every sniffle, every little cough. Then there were the nights that she didn't want to eat because she couldn't breathe through her little nose...I know....Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.. Poor thing was miserable, BUT Glory Be To God, she's all done with it now! I'm so happy that she's feeling better now. AND nursing up a STORM!!! LOL Yeah, she's back to her usual GREEDY little self! Believe me when I say though, I am NOT complaining. I'd rather have her greedy and well any day!
Kennedy and Karson are doing better too, Karson is getting over his allergies SO he's back to getting into EVERYTHING! Kennedy is loving school and even though she was sick, she didn't wanna stay home from school. When I was her age if I got sick I WANTED to stay home. My mom used to spoil me SO badly when I was home sick! Did anyone else's mom make a bed for you on the couch and feed you soup, crackers, ginger ale and popsicles in between your LONG naps? Does anyone else remember watching The Price Is Right and then your mom's soap operas? My mom was into Guiding Light and The Young And The Restless!!! LOL I didn't feel good those days BUT it was always made me feel better to be with my mom. I used to look forward to being sick sometimes because I knew what it meant, being with mom all day and having all of her attention to myself! Anyway, I'm gonna go now before I start getting misty eyed remembering those days! Later...
Dani
7:39 PM
This post was written while I was still speaking to Isaiah and I didn't really want him or anyone in his family peering at pics of my daughter trying to spot a resemblance.
Jun 13, 2008
Current mood: adored
Hey!!
Do you know how it feels to be FIRST in a man's life? Do you know how it feels to have a man that is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY in love with JUST YOU? Do you know what it's like to not have to hear constant complaints and judgements about YOUR life from people who can't even keep THEIR lives together? How about getting house-cleaning advice from someone who doesn't keep their OWN house clean on the regular? How about having money that YOU earned and are able to spend the way YOU want to spend it without someone else telling you how to spend it when THEY could use a few lessons on how to manage money? Isn't it precious to be able to raise THREE children ALONE and still do better than a household that actually has TWO parents? How about never having to look up and find that the lights, gas and/or water has been shut off?
Sorry about all that, I just had to vent for a few minutes! AND now that I'm done I will not mention any of that anymore! There's no need, just because I have decided to move on and forgive the things that have been done to me. I feel like if the Lord can forgive me, I should be able to forgive the people who wronged me.
Anyway, life is good these days. God has blessed me immensely and I really have no complaints! I am getting ready to MOVE!!! I am going to Atlanta, GA where I think I'll have a better chance of getting my ministry off the ground! I'm ready for the Lord to use me in a mighty way and am preparing myself for whatever He wants me to do!
The kids? Well, they're doing just GREAT! Kennedy, Karson and Kyndall are growing and getting more and more beautiful as the days go by! Kennedy is turning into a little lady who cares more about her appearance and now REFUSES to leave the house without lipgloss!! LOL Yes, the rest of her has to be together too! Her hair, her outfit..... Wait! She's turning out just like ME!!! LOL Now that the baby is here and I'm back to my fly and fashionable self, I don't leave the house looking crazy anymore! Karson is doing WAY better, he's a little man who is in love with his baby sister! I mean, all he wants to do is stare at her or hold her. And if she's crying, he comes and tells me "Mommie, hurry up and get Candle (That's what he calls her!), she needs you!" He wants to help me bathe her and dress her. It's really sweet how close he is to her. I hope that all of them remain close to each other. Kyndall? Well, what can I say about my other little lady? LOL She has changed SO much! I have made some decisions concerning her. I have decided to STOP contacting her "father" about her. If he was really all that concerned about her, he would find a way to help me with her! Now, I don't NEED his help, nor do I want anything from him! I have made sure that Kyndall has had everything that she needs...... Including a father!!! LOL She has all she needs, and I don't think it's fair to keep him apprised of what's happening in her life when he's not apart of it! So, I'm done with that! I'm over him and being abandoned by him and I refuse to allow my daughter to go through being second best to his other kids! SO, she has a man in her life who treats her Kennedy and Karson like they're his own biological children! He wants to MARRY me, and have other children with me! He wants to ADOPT Kennedy, Karson AND Kyndall! And I have decided to allow him to do so! Kennedy and Karson's father has agreed to give up his paternal rights. AND Kyndall? Well since her donor couldn't be bothered to sign her birth certificate, we don't have to worry about that!!!
So, while YOU'RE raising someone else's daughter and can't be bothered with your OWN blood, someone else will be raising Kyndall! Hope it's worth it to you! Have a great life being henpecked and controlled!!
Dani
2:55 PM
This post says it all.....
Friday, November 19, 2010
Changed the name....
SO, you've probably noticed that I changed the blog's name. It still IS about my life and the experiences that I've lived through. It's still about what happened to me from October 3, 2006- November 3, 2007. I'll still be talking about how that my life here is still affected by my life there.
The children will only be mentioned when it is absolutely necessary. I do not wish to exploit my kids, if you read this blog it will be because you are interested, for whatever reason, in what I have to say. If you don't LIKE my blog, I don't know what to tell you, other than to visit another page! The internet is a HUGE world and there is really no reason for you to torture yourself by staying on a page and reading a blog that you don't want to read. Anyway, as more becomes revealed, I hope that I don't scare you away. I hope that you can read this blog and see the woman I was and the woman that I became as a result of my experiences..... God Bless, and you pray for me as I pray for you.....
The children will only be mentioned when it is absolutely necessary. I do not wish to exploit my kids, if you read this blog it will be because you are interested, for whatever reason, in what I have to say. If you don't LIKE my blog, I don't know what to tell you, other than to visit another page! The internet is a HUGE world and there is really no reason for you to torture yourself by staying on a page and reading a blog that you don't want to read. Anyway, as more becomes revealed, I hope that I don't scare you away. I hope that you can read this blog and see the woman I was and the woman that I became as a result of my experiences..... God Bless, and you pray for me as I pray for you.....
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