Today I'm going to start transferring things from my MySpace blog to this blog..... Don't worry everything is dated so you'll be able to find your place...
Friday, February 15, 2008
My new daughter....
Current mood: blessed
Category: Life
You know what's amazing to me? How much MORE I could love this girl NOW than when I did when I was carrying her. She was easier to care for when she was INSIDE, you know? All I had to do was eat the right things and drink alot of water. (WHICH I HATE!) Actually, I'm kinda dealing with the same things since I'm nursing her, BUT it still seemed so much easier. I wasn't CONSTANTLY worried about EVERY little thing like I do now. AND one would think that since I've done this before (TWICE), that I wouldn't be so nervous about everything now!
Karson and Kennedy had jaundice, BUT for some reason I freaked out when they told me Kyndall had it too. Maybe it was because they ended up keeping her in the hospital and I couldn't stay with her all the time. When Karson had it, they admitted him too, BUT I was able to stay overnight with him. With Kyndall I had to come, nurse her and then leave her there overnight. I hated that so much, leaving my baby in that HUGE hospital without me! AND then they made it worst when I couldn't nurse her for two days while they fed her formula! I STILL went to the hospital though, I was there for EVERY feeding. 8:00am, 11:00am, 2:00pm, 5:00pm 8:00pm and 11:00pm. I would have to miss the 2:00am and 5:00am feedings but I was RIGHT there for the 8:00am feedings!
This pregnancy and birth has been one of the most trying of my life, but God has seen me through it all. People who I just KNEW would be there for me during all this have been NO WHERE to be found. But I think that God was teaching me some things. He was showing me that the ONLY one I could depend on is HIM! And I've learned to TOTALLY trust in Him. He will help me to raise these children the way He sees fit. I've asked Him to be TOTALLY present in mine and my children's lives. Never again will I heed half-witted advice from people who really have no clue what they're talking about. All children are NOT the same and just because something works for one child doesn't mean that it'll work for all children. ESPECIALLY MINE!!! God has been good to me....
I'm looking forward to my life now. It's as though the ONLY reason I went to Ohio was to get my baby, and all the hell that I went through while I was there PLUS the hell I went through to get her here it's OVER now! I've paid MY price for MY part in the sin. And for that I'm grateful, because even after everything, it could have been MUCH worst.
The kids' fathers'? Well, I was kinda bummed out about that part of it, but NOT anymore. I am all they need, and regardless of what anybody else says or thinks, I'm doing a good job taking care of three children (two special needs) alone. They have everything that they need and most of the things that they want. They have a roof over their heads, utilities, clothing and food. The baby has EVERYTHING! Things have changed SO much. In Ohio all she had was a CAR SEAT! HERE, well my daughter has a crib (A beautiful canopy crib), a bassinet, a stroller, a boppy bouncer, clothing (she'll probably grow out of many of them before she can ever wear them!), bottles (that she REFUSES to suck!) I don't even have the room to tell of God's goodness to my baby. I had to leave so many of my things behind (NOT counting the things I have in storage!) but God has provided! We have a new church, which is wonderful, it reminds me of the church I was going to in Ohio. Elder Waymon Malone, he has been a HUGE blessing to me since I've been home! He calls to check on me and the children constantly and has told me that if I wanna move back there that he would set us up with somewhere to live AND a job! LOL Too funny, right? BUT I don't EVER wanna see Columbus, Ohio ever again! Anyway, I'm done writing for today. Maybe I'll try to write again soon. (If I have the time!)
Dani
September 23, 2010:
To make it less confusing, any LONG blog entries will be in their OWN post. Smaller ones will grouped together according to date. After I finish posting the MySpace entries, I'll continue my story....
Love to all,
Dani
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