I can't believe I forgot this was still here, but I think I'll be updating here more now because I think I need an outlet because of everything that's happening in my life right now!
Updates~
I graduated from college! Yes! I earned my Master of Arts in Teaching back in September and while I was upset about not being able to go to my graduation (It was the same day as Kennedy's), I did need to be here for her. It's not like she has another parent who is willing to come and support her. (Not like any of my children do.
Anyway.....
I have a job... An excellent job. One that pays me well enough so that I'm not missing the income from the deadbeats that donated their sperm to help me make children that they don't help take care of. Yes, I'm still dealing with that. That's something that I don't think I'll ever really get over, because it's in my face everyday when I'm the only one they can come to when they need something.
We didn't move to Japan.... At least not yet.
Why?
Well, I decided that I needed to save more money, PLUS I am back in school! Yes... I'm crazy to do it again, but I need this degree in Early Childhood Education, so that I can be a in place to ask for what I want, instead of having to settle because I don't meet the requirements they're asking. SO.... I'm working toward my second Masters degree, this one is my Master of Science in Early Childhood Education! It's exciting, yet odd because of what I do now. I am teaching new childcare providers and helping them to get their CDA (Child Development Associate, while studying the same thing. It's trippy sometimes, but what I am learning helps me a great deal in the classroom, so it seems to be kismet! I'm having a good time, getting paid well and able to take care of everything without having to rely on other people to help me. It seriously makes me feel good about myself to know that I'm doing this. On my own.
I haven't heard from the "man" in years, and I can't say I'm sorry. It would have been nice if he'd acted at least a teeny bit interested in the daughter he claimed to want so much, but... I guess that's too much to ask. I've settled things with Kyndall, though. I told her that he died. That actually makes her look at him sympathetically and I think that's better than her hating him or even.... Or even feeling like she did something wrong to deserve the fact that he's not around.
Why did I tell her that?
Well.... One of the last things he told me was that she could never know who he is. So... The only way I could make sure that she wouldn't go looking for him, was to take him away permanently. She made a comment the other day that makes me incredibly glad that I told her what I did. She was talking to Kennedy, and asked her what she knew about her own father. Kennedy told her that she knows that he's a deadbeat loser who doesn't take care of his responsibilities. Kyndall remarked that she felt better knowing that her dad left her because he had no choice, not because he didn't want to be bothered with her. Sorry... But I'd rather her have that point of view.
Kennedy and Karson think he's dead too. Kennedy no longer has nightmares about him, and Karson sleeps in his own room and is able to go to the bathroom by himself! He even showers by himself now! SO... If telling that one lie means that my children can function. I'm glad I did it.
And he's dead to me, anyway...
-Kanye shrug-
See you soon...
~D
